It must be true – we are crazy with hormones because what I considered ‘preparing for birth’ consisted of: over bleaching my hair (it was a knotted, tangled mess by the time my son emerged), finding a second hand nightie and cutting the sleeves with scissors to get the right fit and not even remembering a maternity bra for the hospital.
And that’s just fashion blunders…
Post birth I was just as crazy, messed up … Sitting in a park one day I found myself trying to decide whether to pull my t-shirt upwards for feeding (and show my flabby, post-birth tummy to the world), or pull the breast up and over the neckline and feed my newborn at shoulder height?!
Crazy, ah yes!
I now know, with five years’ experience, that birth is a momentous event. It is as important as a wedding, it is as physically and mentally challenging as competing for Olympic gold and it is as delicate and as personal as letting out a ‘number two’ (physiologically the same too – except the reward is much more beautiful when it’s a baby!).
I say ‘letting out’ because our solid waste really does gently glide out of the body when we are completely relaxed and we allow it to happen.
Next time you do a number 2, try breathing your energy downwards and learn how you can ‘relax your body empty’. Literally put your chin down to your chest and breathe calmly down. No need for physical pushing. Relax all your muscles instead. Of course it is important to time this with your body signals.
With the right preparation and practise women can breathe babies out too! Don’t get carried away by a ‘cheerleader-type’ Hollywood image who yells “push” “push”. To continue with the toilet analogy (and who doesn’t like a good one of those!), we don’t have cheer squads in our toilets for a reason. Can you seriously imagine your partner yelling “push!” from outside the bathroom door? Of course not. That’s because sphincters are shy! Interestingly enough, your cervix and vagina have circular bands that can close up under stress too.
Speaking of shy, I just returned from a trip to Kathmandu where my system completely ‘shut up shop’. Toilets with locks that don’t work and cracks in the walls! I felt so exposed. There was no way my body was relaxing out any ‘solid waste babies’!
Stay with me, here…. I promise this is relevant to childbirth!
As the days progressed I was glad I had learned and practised HypnoBirthing tools, which I was able to implement:
- I accepted and admitted my fears of my system not working.
- I replaced that fear with curiosity (hmm, will the poo be the colour of that red earth patch?… the colour of that cow dung?…)
- I established self-hypnosis which allowed a full body relaxation
- I breathed my energy down and out.
And guess what – I produced a poo! Yay!
We empty our body most easily when we can deepen into a natural trance state and let our body do its thing, unhindered by troublesome anxious thoughts. That’s why people often read in the toilet and why self-hypnosis works well for birthing. In the case of a number two, the passage lubricates and the muscles and micro muscles move the waste out. In birth the passage lubricates, the uterus muscles contract and micro muscles ease the baby out. The scientists call it the body’s ‘natural expulsive reflex’.
If you fight your automated muscle contractions, you tense up and cause pain. Imagine what a mess we would be in if we tried to fight our diaphragm muscle during the automated breathing process. Yet women in child birth often do not know how to relax, and, as a result, can sub-consciously fight the natural birth process.
For birth (just like a number two) you need to find ways to achieve:
- Personal space
- Time, patience
- Relaxation of all muscle groups
- Trust in the body’s instinctual, automated functions
- Curiosity (afraid how big the head is? instead get curious about how the infants’ amazing soft skull presses into a cone for birth – nature’s design for passing through the pelvis!) Get curious about your baby’s sex, hair colour, nose shape… They are great, positive thoughts to keep your mind focused.
Birth is a big event. In fact, it’s life changing. Give birth the preparation time and respect it deserves:
| What you need | Wedding | Birth |
| Essential skilled companions | Bridesmaids and/or maid of honour | Midwives, doulas |
| Love, trust | Partner | Chosen companions |
| Specialist on hand (only as required) | Celebrant | Obstetrician |
| Words to say and think | Vows | Birth plan/preferences, Positive affirmations audio |
| Preparation | Wedding rehearsal | Birth preparation course (relaxation basedeg. HypnoBirthing) |
| Place | A beautiful venue that has personal meaning for you | A place where you can be assured privacy, positive vibes, patience, relaxation and calm supporters |
| Something special for her | Wedding dress, jewellery | Clothes to feel good, positive, relaxed and comfortable |
| Practical stuff | Make up, tissues, etc. | Hospital bag (Maternity bras, Breast pads, Breastfeeding PJs, Breastfeeding pillows, postpartum care products eg. recovery belt and shaper) |
| Ceremony and mood | Wedding cake, rings, love songs, decorations, perfume, flowers. | Hot water, dim lights, soothing music, calming scents |
| Health | Nutrition and Exercise to look your best | Nutrition and Exercise to perform your best (pelvic floor and perineum muscles) |
| State of mind | Slow deep abdomen breaths to remain calm and to ensure endorphins outweigh stress hormones | Slow deep abdomen breaths to remain calm and to ensure endorphins outweigh stress hormones |
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